Parents’ Universal Resource Experts

Simple changes in diet, like cutting back on snacks with sugar, could bring out the sweeter side this holiday season in your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).

By Connect with Kids

Three seconds. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, that’s all the time it takes for a driver to take their eyes off the road and get into a car accident.  And now, with more kids than ever texting on their cell phones while they’re driving… how many more crashes will there be? How many more kids will get hurt? 

Richard Tatum was sending his girlfriend a text message, just like he does throughout the day. The problem was, this time he was driving while he was texting.

He crossed the median and collided head-on with a cement truck.

“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it,” says Richard, 18.

Richard’s car was totaled: he barely survived.

“It crushed my pelvis and hip and my knee.  I tore two ligaments and chipped a piece of my knee cap off.”

According to a recent AAA Auto Club survey, 46 percent of teens admit to text messaging while driving. That’s up from 13 percent just two years ago.

“You just look down to text, look up to drive, look down to text. It’s not hard to do so everybody does it,” says Richard.

Two states, Washington and New Jersey, have made driving while texting illegal.  Sixteen more are trying to pass similar legislation.  

And it’s not just texting that’s dangerous; simply talking on the phone while driving greatly impairs your ability. Research from the University of Utah shows that driving while talking on the cell phone is equivalent to a .08 blood alcohol level. In most states, if your blood alcohol level is greater than .08 you are considered intoxicated.

Experts say that parents should make it clear: teens can use their cell phone or the car, but not both at the same time.

 “With teens, you have to send the message that you cannot do this while you are driving, and if I find out you are doing it, then you are not going to be driving,” says Ted Waldbart, general manager, Safe America Foundation.

As for Richard, he’s now walking and even driving again, but he will never be the same.

“He now has the hip of a 47-year-old because of the cartilage damage and everything.  And he is going to have arthritis, and he’s just not going to be able to do the things that he could do before,” says Richard’s mother, Linda Tatum.

“I don’t text when I drive anymore; it’s not worth breaking my good hip,” Richard says with a laugh.

Tips for Parents

The Federal government estimates that 30 percent of car accidents are due to driving distractions. To help keep your teen safe while they are in the car, Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) and Liberty Mutual Insurance Group recommend these guidelines for teaching teens about driving distractions.

• Know and enforce your state’s Graduated Driver License laws and restrictions, including unsupervised driving, time of day and passengers in the car.
• Sign a teen driving contract (many are available online, including SADD’s Contract for Life.
• Set family driving rules with clear consequences for breaking the rules. SADD recommends rules such as:
  • No alcohol or drug use
  • No cell phone use, including text messaging
  • Limit distractions — eating, changing CDs, handling iPods or other activities while driving
  • Limit or restrict friends in the car without an adult
• Be a role model. Your teen will follow your driving example, so be sure you are keeping your own rules.
• If you receive an important call or must make a call, pull off the road. Do not drive while calling or texting.
• Let your voicemail take the call. You can call back later when you are not driving.
• Know when to stop talking. If the conversation is long, emotional or stressful continue it when you are not driving.
• Do not take notes while driving. If you don’t want to forget a note, use a take recorder or pull off the road.
• Do not eat or drink while driving.
• Groom yourself at home, not in the vehicle.

References

• Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) & Liberty Mutual Insurance Group Chicago Arts Partnerships in Education (CAPE)
• Safe America Foundation
• Road and Travel

By ADDitude Magazine

Do you have ADD? Use this checklist to understand common ADHD symptoms and test your own behavior before seeking an ADHD diagnosis.

You may have attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) if you notice the following symptoms persisting for at least six months to a degree that is maladaptive and immature. If you suspect that you have ADD or ADHD, contact your medical health-care professional…

At least six of the following ADHD symptoms often apply:

Inattention

• Fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.

• Has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or

play activities.

• Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.

• Does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).

• Has difficulty organizing tasks and activities.

• Avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework).

• Loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).

• Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.

• Forgetful in daily activities.

At least six of the following signs of hyperactivity-impulsivity often apply:

Hyperactivity

• Fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.

• Leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected.

• Runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness).

• Has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly.

• Appears “on the go” or acts as if “driven by a motor.”

• Talks excessively.

Click here for entire article

By ADDitude Magazine

Learn your child’s educational rights to get him the support he needs in the classroom.

In an ideal world, teachers and school administrators would be as eager as parents to see that children with ADD get what they need to succeed in school. Unfortunately, teachers are pressed for time as never before, and school districts are strapped for cash. So it’s up to parents to make sure that their kids get the extra support they need.

“The federal government requires schools to provide special services to kids with ADD and other disabilities, but the school systems themselves bear much of the cost of these services,” says Susan Luger, director of The Children’s Advisory Group in New York City. “Though they’ll never admit it, this gives the schools an incentive to deny these services. The process of obtaining services has become much more legalistic over the past 10 years.”

Click here for the entire article.

A survey by Penn State finds that 98 percent of teens say that lying is morally wrong.  But in the very same survey, 98 percent say they’ve lied to their parents. Why do the same kids, who know lying is wrong, do it anyway? 

“When I lie, I usually mainly lie to get out of something,” says Eric, 13.

“It’s like human nature. You can’t really stop yourself from lying sometimes,” says Annie, 12.

“I think in some cases, it’s okay. Like, I think if you don’t want to tell your parents, then that’s really none of their business,” says Caroline, 17.

Researchers at Penn State surveyed teens about lying on 36 different topics. Teens responded that they lied to their parents about 12 of these topics, including how they spent their money, what movie they went to, what they did after school, and whether they rode in cars with a drunk driver.

“I think in some ways they’re saying, ‘I need to have some secrets, I need to have some of my own private life, it’s important,’” says Dr. Tim Jordan, M.D., pediatrician.

Experts say that kids learn about lying from each other, and from adults.

“Like when parents lie about their kids being a certain age so they get a cheaper price for the movies, that is a small, simple thing, but there are a lot of little examples like that, where kids see that adults fudge,” says Jordan.

But if parents will repeat the right message over and over, says Jordan, eventually kids will learn about lying and right and wrong. In time, they’ll no longer hear just their parents’ voices, they’ll hear their own.

“I want kids to be able to think through things internally, because when they’re out in the world, that’s when they do most of their mischief,” says Jordan. “They have to have their own internal justice system established and I think that comes from inside the home, having a series of conversations over many, many years about right and wrong.”

Tips for Parents

All children lie once in a while – it’s part of growing up. Toddlers lie as a way to create their own fantasy world (i.e. “I have an imaginary friend.”); adolescents lie to re-invent themselves or to get out of trouble. Experts offer the following tips to help you talk to your children about honesty:

• Set clear expectations and strive to meet them yourself.
• Explain to the child that he will be respected more if he tells the truth than if he lies, even if the truth might make him feel uncomfortable or get him in trouble.
• Talk to children about the difference between make-believe and reality, and about alternatives to lying.
• Give children examples of why honesty is important. Show how lying has consequences.
• When a child is caught lying, talk about the consequences, how she might have acted differently, and how she should act going forward.
• Avoid browbeating and punishing when broaching the subject of dishonesty. Be firm but understanding, and let them know you expect the truth no matter what.
• If it appears that a child has a serious problem with lying, seek professional help from a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
• Help your children practice being honest so that lying is not comfortable for them and is not a part of who they are.

References

• Parenthood.com
• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Here’s a recipe for trouble: start with a teenager’s impulsive brain, add in a little peer pressure, a video camera and the Internet, and the results are violent assaults, dangerous crashes, and outrageous stunts – all captured on video and posted online. 

On one website, there are videos of kids crashing while rollerblading … skiing while tied to a car … shooting fireworks at a friend.

“I saw this video of two friends, where one guy put himself in a garbage can and his friend pushed him down the street, and then it was going and going, and then bam! he just hit the door,” says Donte, 15.

In other news, eight Florida teens were arrested recently for beating up another teen. How did the police catch them? The teens posted the video of the assault online.

Because of the popularity of video-sharing sites such as YouTube, experts say that each week, kids try even more dangerous stunts to gain their 15 minutes of fame.

“It’s one-upmanship almost,” says Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert. “They say, ‘Well, he jumped off a 10-foot ladder … I’m going to do him one better. I’m going to jump off a 15-foot ladder.’  And then it will be a 20-foot and then a 30-foot [ladder].”

“They could say, ‘I jumped off my roof.’  And if someone doesn’t believe them, they could say, ‘Well, go check my Myspace.  I have a video,’” says Derek, 15.

Experts say parents should explain that stunts are not just dangerous — they may also have life-long consequences.

“You could do something stupid and then say, ‘I’m going to erase it.’  But you have to realize that [the video] could have been reproduced by hundreds if not thousands of people who have seen it,” says Phipps.

“It could have all sorts of effects, like when you are trying to go to college, if they see that you are an arsonist, they might not accept you,” says David, 15.

“It never goes away.  It’s a permanent record of your stupidity,” says Griff, 17.

Tips for Parents

Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group, offers these tips:

• Make sure your kids never use their real name or address when posting material on the Internet. Avoid posting any information that would allow a stranger to locate your child. This includes the name of a school or sports team or the city where you live.
• Take your child’s level of maturity into account when deciding whether he or she can handle a video camera or web cam.
• Make sure kids understand that videos they post on the Internet may damage their reputation. Often kids assume only their friends will view these videos. Explain that teachers, college admissions departments, police departments and prospective employers all scout the Internet to learn more about a person’s character

Additional tips for parents:

• Realize that kids who post videos or profiles on the Internet are more likely to be contacted by a sexual predator. Report any unwanted or inappropriate messages to law enforcement. (Joe Rosen, former FBI Agent)

• If kids do want to post videos online, suggest they do something that would help others see them in a positive light. Have kids exercise their creativity. For example, write, film and video-edit a skit. (Melanie Mitchell, director, iD Tech Camps, Emory location)

References

• iD Tech Camps
• Joe Rosen, former FBI Agent
• Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group