Archive for September, 2009
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: National Tween Girl Summit 2009
The first ever Tween Girl Summit brought to you by AK Tweens and AllyKatzz.com.
On October 10, 2009, hundreds of tween girls ages 9 to 14 from across the nation, as well as parents, experts, politicians and celebrities, will descend upon the historic Capital Hilton Hotel in Washington DC for the First Ever National Tween Girl Summit.
At the Summit, girls will talk about their passions, challenges, values, goals, heroes, dreams, fears, tween girl power, community activism and what they are going to do to change their world. We want the President and the First Lady to know that girls have heard their call for community activism and they’re ready to change the world!
Everything is here: Everything you need to know about the Tween Summit is on this site. Please check back often for updates on speakers, sponsors and celebs who will be joining us!
Summit Online: Can’t attend the Summit on October 10th? We’ll be live blogging on Allykatzz.com so everyone can be a part of The First Ever Tween Girl Summit.
The 2009 Summit Research Report: From the Tween Summit observation deck, we will obtain insights from 300 tween girls attending the event, as well as gathering data from thousands of AllyKatzz members streaming the experience online. Learn more.
The Tween Summit Agenda - PDF available.
For more information email tweensummit@allykatzz.com and visit www.tweensummit.com.
Also on Examiner.com
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: Parenting Girls and friendships
Raising daughters and working with young girls in today’s generation (as in years before) seem to have their own set of challenges. Friendships are here today and gone tomorrow, but how does your young child understand these pitfalls of life in their tender years? Blair Wagner and Jane Balvanz offer expert advice on helping raise your daughters and girls today. Recently Jane posted an excellent article on girls and friendships. Take a moment to read and be an educated parent. You will be prepared to have a happier child.
She Broke Up With Me
By Jane Balvanz
With a sad face and a stream of tears, the student entered my office and said, “She broke up with me.” There was a pause and a heavy sigh followed by, “She was my heart.” I inwardly gasped at the magnitude of emotional intelligence these words carried. Most kids don’t talk like this! Was it teenage angst? Experience with first love lost? No, these were the words of a six-year-old girl. She and her friend had just had a fight.
About 10 years ago, I noticed young elementary school girls used the words “breaking up” when a female friendship was on the rocks. I don’t hear the same words from older girls, so this language is curious to me. I often hear the frustration from groups of girls who want to know what to do, because “we keep breaking up and making up.” They come to my office together with high hopes that their group will stop the cycle of breaking up and making up. The girls are entirely sincere about their worry of estrangement.
I’m encouraged when girls seek help for these breakups, because they really want to get along. They want to remain friends, and wanting that is a very good start toward healing friendships. We talk about behavior patterns, the helpful and hurtful. They tell me all the patterns, and I write them down. The group then identifies their hurtful and helpful patterns. I let them know that patterns can be broken with practice. Who wants to practice positive friendship skills? They all do.
It can take six weeks to break a pattern, but with total effort it can happen in two. When girls are motivated to save friendships, it can happen. Give your daughter or female student(s) the two-week challenge. With their lists of friendship patterns, they can take responsibility for changing their friendship behaviors – the ones that aren’t working for them. There can be fewer breakups, because we all know breaking up is hard to do.
© 2009 A Way Through, LLC
Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at www.AWayThrough.com
Follow them on Twitter at @AWayThrough @JaneBalvanz @BlairWagner
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff – Parenting teens, warning signs
Parenting teens today can be more complicated than generations before. Afterall, how many of us grew up with texting, computers, or X-Boxes? Not many. Now we have to compound it with the normal struggles of raising teens, such as peer pressure, drug abuse, truancy, and much more.
Take the time to be an educated parent, you will be prepared and also have a safer teen!
Source: Shoulder to Shoulder
Watch for Warning Signs
The teen years can be tough for both parent and child. Teens face numerous pressures: be popular, do well in school, get along with the family and make important life decisions. On top of this, teens are experiencing physical, sexual, social and emotional changes. (This explains all the “freaking out…”) Many of these pressures are unavoidable for teens, and worrying about them, as parents, is natural.
Most kids get through the teen years with success. Other teens may face obstacles that weaken their physical and emotional well being, discourage their motivation and ability to succeed in school, and damage personal relationships. With all this going on, teens can engage in risky behaviors – harming their physical and mental health and chances for future success.
SOME WARNING SIGNS ARE SUBTLE, WHILE OTHERS ARE VERY CLEAR.
If a teen is in trouble, there are warning signs to watch for that signal help is needed. You might notice a change in your teen’s behavior. You may learn that your teen has experimented with a risky behavior for the first time. It may simply be that
you “sense” that something isn’t quite right. Take these signs seriously.
TALK TO YOUR TEEN ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS.
Pay attention to what your teen is doing and how they are feeling. Talk to them about it – and not just when you notice something different. Talk to them on a regular basis. By doing so, you help your teen avoid more difficult problems down the road. For support, talk to parents whose advice you trust.
LEARN ABOUT ISSUES.
Take the time to read about issues by looking around this site or by consulting other sources of factual information related to teens and risky behaviors. Find information at your library, school counselor’s office, medical clinic or faith-based organization.
WHEN YOU NEED IT.
Professionals can help you get the right support you need, and determine whether your teen is in crisis. Discuss your concerns with your teen’s teacher, school counselor, doctor or other people you trust. They can refer you to more information or provide professional care to keep your teen safe.
KNOW THE WARNING SIGNS.
Defiance. Not just occasionally – this is normal. We’re talking about continued disregard for your authority and rules.
- Suspected substance use or abuse.
- Aggression – fighting with and hurting others.
- Extreme withdrawal – teens spending an inordinate amount of time in their room.
- Loss of interest in activities your teen normally likes to do.
- Change in appearance – neat kids become unkempt, rapid weight loss or gain, etc.
- Continued talk about death, depression and suicide.
PRINTABLE VERSION FOR DOWNLOAD
You’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader to view the following PDF version of this section. If you don’t already have the program, you can download it for free here.
Warning signs.pdf
Teens and depression.pdf
More information on teens:
Teen Depression, Teen Runaways, Teen Gangs, Teen Drug Prevention, Teen Suicide, Teen Self Injury
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff – Teen Truancy
Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate “excused” absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school’s handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.
Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student’s education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent’s self-esteem.
Also on Examiner.com
Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff – Recession causes fewer School Psychologists
With today’s economic struggles, more people are losing jobs and that includes teachers and others that work in the education system. During the recent cut in funds for schools, we are seeing a reduction in school psychologists. In reality, this may be the time our kids need the most help. Many are not familiar with recession, why their families are cutting back, maybe not taking that family vacation, or can’t have those name brand trendy clothes.
Source: Connect with Kids
Few School Psychologists
“They’re spread thin, and they usually serve a handful of schools each. So they might be in one school one day and another school the next day.”
– Frank Smith, state director of psychological services
Cuts in state and local funding due to the recession are taking a toll on our schools. Here’s just one more example: school psychologists. They’re trained to help kids deal with all kinds of personal and academic problems, but today we have too many students and not enough psychologists.
Last year, 16-year-old Kristen was sometimes depressed and angry, and she kept it all inside, at least until she joined a group discussion at school. “When you don’t talk to people, you get bottled up, and then you end up exploding, and then end up doing something you wouldn’t have done otherwise,” she says.
School psychologists, like Anne Ferris who serves Kristen’s school, are trained to spot potentially explosive students. She helps kids like Kristen open up and talk.
“What’s going on in your personal life — so much affects how well you can learn, your studying, your habits, your ability to concentrate and listen to the teacher,” says Ms. Ferris.
“It’d be great if all kids came to school absolutely motivated and ready to learn, the reality is many don’t,” says Frank Smith, director of psychological services for the Georgia Department of Education. “They bring in a lot of baggage with them — some of them with very serious problems — and it does take specially trained people to ferret out those problems and design a plan to neutralize those problems, so the child can have success.”
The National Association of School Psychologists recommends a minimum of one psychologist per 1,000 students. That’s the minimum. By that measure, right now in America, we are short 20,000 school psychologists.
“They’re spread thin,” says Smith, “and they usually serve a handful of schools each. So they might be in one school one day and another school the next day.”
Experts say if your child’s school is short-handed, be proactive. Encourage your child to talk and watch for signs of trouble — whether academic, social or emotional — and finally, if you have to, askfor help.
“Parents need to trust their gut instincts,” says Smith. “If they’re feeling like something’s wrong and they need to be doing something, they are probably right.”
Tips for Parents
School psychologists help children and youth succeed academically, socially and emotionally. They collaborate with educators, parents, and other professionals to create safe, healthy, and supportive learning environments for all students that strengthen connections between home and school. The National Association of School Psychologists says there is a serious shortage of school psychologists nationwide, especially in rural areas. As a result, experts say the shortage of school psychologists in rural areas is making it tougher for districts to meet federal academic standards. School psychologists help students with learning disabilities and those who respond to different teaching styles or techniques. School psychologists also can detect and prevent situations involving potentially “explosive“ students.
- School psychologists are highly trained in both psychology and education. They must complete a minimum of a post-Master’s degree program that includes a one-year internship.
- School psychologists must be certified and/or licensed by the state in which they work.
- School psychologists may be nationally certified by the National School Psychology Certification Board (NSPCB).
- School psychologists work with students individually and in groups.
- They also develop programs to train teachers and parents regarding effective teaching and learning strategies, effective techniques to manage behavior at home and in the classroom, working with students with disabilities or with special talents, abuse of drugs and other substances and preventing and managing crises.
All children and adolescents face problems from time to time. They may be afraid to go to school, have difficulty organizing their time efficiently, lack effective study skills, fall behind in their school work, lack self-discipline, worry about problems occurring at home, be depressed or anxious, experiment with drugs and alcohol and even think about suicide.
To intervene effectively, parents need to know some common characteristics of adolescents at risk for school failure. These characteristics include:
- Attention problems. The student has a history of attention issues at school.
- Poor grades. The student consistently performs at barely average or below average levels.
- Retentions. The student has been retained in one or more grade levels.
- Absenteeism. The student is absent five or more days per term.
- Lack of connection with school and community activities. The student is not involved with sports, music, scouting, or other extracurricular activities.
- Behavior problems. The student may be disciplined frequently in school or may show a sudden change in school behavior, such as withdrawing from classroom discussions.
- Lack of confidence. The student believes that success is linked to natural intelligence rather than to hard work and that his or her own ability is insufficient and cannot be changed or improved.
- Limited goals for the future. The student seems unaware of what career options are available or how to attain those goals.
While these topics are items to watch for in your child, it is always best to trust your instincts. If you feel there is a problem with your child, talk to them. Open lines of communication are proven to be the best defense in keeping your child healthy. If you feel a serious, life-threatening situation exists, seek professional help immediately.
References
- The Dayton Daily News
- National Association of School Psychologists
- Talk With Your Kids
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff – Teenage Driving
I am currently reading, “Crash-Proof Your Kids” and I am so impressed at all the information in one book! Of course, I cheated and moved forward in the book, and couldn’t believe how much valuable tips, statistics and advice is listed. As soon as I am done, I will place this book on my Books and Website blog. For now, I think this is such a critical topic for parents, I am posting an article from the author from the website, Crash Proof Your Kids. Dr. Jay Giedd, chief of brain imaging in the child psychiatry branch at the National Institute of Mental Health, has spent over 14 years peering inside the heads of nearly 2,000 kids using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). Giedd’s studies have shown that extensive structural changes occur in adolescent brains for many years, probably until about age 25. Remarkably, age 25 is exactly when the crash rates for adults flattens out and stays relatively similar throughout the rest of adulthood. It’s also the age at which you can first rent a car, demonstrating that the rental car companies, with cold, efficient clarity, have got it right.
As Claudia Wallis puts it in her 2004 Time magazine article, What Makes Teens Tick?: “Now that MRI studies have cracked open a window on the developing brain, other researches are looking at how the newly detected physiological changes might account for the adolescent behaviors so familiar to parents: emotional outbursts, reckless risk taking and rule breaking, and the impassioned pursuit of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll.”
Apparently, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain primarily responsible for dealing with impulses and the consequences of actions—is the last part of the brain to mature, and your teen will be out of college before it does. Much otherwise inexplicable teen behavior is now thought to be due to the lag in development between the rest of the brain and the part which helps them exercise judgment. Temple University psychologist Laurence Steinberg once said, in a quote especially well-suited for this book, “It’s like turning on the engine of a car without a skilled driver at the wheel.”
To summarize, a growing body of research has shown that the brains of adolescents undergo a dramatic increase in neural activity and synapse-building and pruning. Every day they really are getting smarter, but at the same time more confused, as their gray matter sparks like an overcharged battery. Do not under any circumstances make them aware of this emerging research. It’ll only give them an excuse:
“I couldn’t help it, Dad, I had a really intense synaptic explosion last night. No way would I have rolled your car unless that happened. The nerves made me do it.”
Adjust your mentoring style to the specific personality your teen appears to be inhabiting that day. And if sparks or smoke appear to be coming from the top of their heads, it may not be because they’re steamed at you. Their brains may be on fire.
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff – Teachers and Parents Unite to Enhance Education
Schools are now opening in many areas of our country. As a parent we need to know what resources are available to help enhance your child’s academic year.
I am listing some great organizations that are targeted at assisting schools, teachers and parents to work together for a common goal: your child’s education.
Many of these groups you have heard of; but have you become involved? With today’s stressful economic times, as well as families going in so many different directions, it is more important than ever to become involved in our child’s education. They are our future.
Parent Teacher Association (PTA) – Every child. Once Voice. PTA advocates have been at the heart of our nation’s greatest advances for youth. This year they installed their first male President of the PTA. Follow the PTA on Twitter at @PTAEditor to keep up to date with their progress and programs.
Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) – Helping parent leaders make better schools. PTO‘s are found at all types and levels of schools – public, private, parochial, charter, elementary, middle school, HS, etc. Expert advice and real-world insight on how to build parent and community involvement in school, recruit and manage volunteers, and more. Follow the PTO on Twitter at @PTOToday and stay informed.
School Family – Your go-to guide for school success. This website and their Blog offers volumes of great information from academics and studying to finding the right school for your child. School Family also offers a community to share ideas, tips and learn from other parents of school-aged kids facing the same challenges – and triumphs – you may be. Follow School Family on Twitter @SchoolFamily and stay connected.
Great Schools – Giving children a greater opportunity to succeed by inspiring and guiding parents to be effective champions of education at home and in their communities. A fantastic educational website that can give you timely articles and insights on schools today. Follow Great Schools on Twitter @GreatSchoolsorg and learn more.
There are many more, but here is a jumpstart for your child’s new school year!
For more info: Be sure to visit the above websites and follow them on Twitter.
Also visit on Examiner.com
