Archive for June, 2010
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: Parents at their Wit’s End – Don’t Get Scammed
With the recent closing of Magnolia Christian School, which was formerly Carolina Springs Academy, it seems that World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS) is slowly decreasing in size. Is it the economy or the fact that there are many disturbing stories out there, as well as successful lawsuits such as mine. Currently I believe Red River Academy is their East Coast/Central States main program as Horizon Academy and Cross Creek are on the West Coast.
Are you considering residential therapy? Are you are your wit’s end with your teenager? Researching these programs and schools can be a daunting experience. Glowing websites and slick sales reps at many toll free numbers – how do you know who to trust?
I can’t answer that except to say to remember, your child is not for sale. You will know in your gut if someone is being sincere or simply doing their job.
I am considered a disgruntled parent by WWASPS, and I will accept that since my daughter was abused by them, I defeated them in a jury trial and feel that any parent that was duped the way I was would also be disgruntled. They also enjoy telling parents I own, operate or manage other residential programs – I don’t. The last thing I would want to do or am I qualified to do is run a program.
Finally they love to send parents to website that spread ugly lies about me and twisted truths. However neglect to add that I also won a landmark case for the Internet Defamation of over $11M in a jury trial.
So, as much as they want to discredit me, the truth is in the court papers. The truth is in my book, published by the home of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Health Communications, Inc.
Back to your at-risk teenager, if you are seeking outside help: Stop, think, research and take your time making this major financial and emotional decision. I firmly believe in getting your child help, I also believe there are many excellent programs out there – just do your homework.
As a side note, remember the Internet is not gospel - there are many sites that may have disturbing and ugly statements about a school you are considering – check out the source – in many cases they are former students with a beef. There is a difference between legitimate complaints and former students or parents (usually a divorced one without custody) that are just being vindictive.
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: June is Internet Safety Month – Summer is More Screen Time
I don’t think we can stop talking about this topic enough today. Summer time, although years ago – prior the technology of computers and cellphones with Internet service, used to mean playing outside, building forts in the woods (which we never hear anymore – now we have fear of abductions), or going to the beach or pool without a gadget. I have written a lot on Internet Safety, including my book, Google Bomb. Connect with Kids just posted a new article on kids and their screen time. Take the time to remind yourself of Internet Safety for you and your kids! After all – today summer time means more online time.
Source: Connect with Kids
Screen Time
“Instead of using that time to become an adult, by learning how to talk adults, learning how to talk to women, learning how to talk to men, learning how to figure out what they want to do with their lives. Those are hours that are lost, that can never really be regained.”
– Timothy Fong, M.D., addiction psychiatrist
The American Academy of Pediatrics named the month of June “Internet Safety Month” – clearly a challenge for parents throughout the year. A survey from the Kaiser Family Foundation reports that kids spend up to seven and a half hours each day with electronic media.
If you add the time some kids spend in front of a TV, computers, cell phones and video games, it’s more hours than anything else in their lives except sleep! And that begs the question if they spend so much time plugged in, what are they missing out on?
Sabrina and her brother Ruben are fighting over the family computer. At the same time, their younger brother Daniel is playing video games with a friend.
“It’s just fun killing other people and stealing their stuff,” says Daniel, 8.
And sister Alinna waits to watch her favorite program on the big TV.
“I dream about watching TV, and I watch Sponge Bob in my head,” says Alinna.
Four kids in one family who love anything with a screen.
“It’s just nowadays it seemed like they’re a lot lazier, and just want to sit on the tube and on the phone all the time,” says their father, Harry.
For all those hours spent online or watching TV, what are they not doing? Experts say they’re not reading, studying, exercising or even just talking with other people.
“Instead of using that time to become an adult, by learning how to talk adults, learning how to talk to women, learning how to talk to men, learning how to figure out what they want to do with their lives. Those are hours that are lost, that can never really be regained,” says Timothy Fong, M.D., addiction psychiatrist.
Yolanda has tried to limit her kids’ time in front of a screen.
“Well my mom gives me an hour, but I usually do like 3 hours. If they don’t notice,” says Sabrina, 16.
“Even though I get frustrated with it, I allow it to happen because that’s what makes her happy,” says Yolanda Delano, mother.
What Parents Need To Know
A new study reported in Pediatrics Magazine says that children whose parents set consistent rules about television use were less likely to exceed the recommended screen time limits – no more than one to two hours a day.
Chances are, if your children are like most, they spend too much time glued to the screen watching television, surfing the Internet and playing video games. So, how can you break this habit without wrecking havoc in the home? The answer, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, is to find fun, positive activities that children enjoy and to smartly manage their screen time.
Following are 10 tips for parents to help their children make a painless transition from couch potato to a physically and pro-socially active child:
- Remove television sets from children’s bedrooms.
- View television programs with children and discuss the content.
- Use the VCR to show or record high-quality, educational programming for children.
- Suggest several options for positive physical and pro-social activities that are available through local park districts, schools, and community programs.
- Recommend pro-social activities, such as volunteering at Humane Society of the United States (visit www.hsus.org).
- Encourage alternative activities for children, including hobbies, athletics, and creative play.
- Support efforts to establish comprehensive programs in schools that include quality, daily physical education; classroom education; daily recess periods; and extracurricular physical activity programs.
- Form coalitions including libraries, faith-based organizations, and neighborhood groups to help provide physical and social environments that encourage and enable safe and enjoyable physical activity, including new sidewalks, safe parks and keeping close-to-home physical activity facilities open at night.
- Ensure that appropriate activity options are available for disabled children.
- Serve as a good role model; be active when viewing television and surfing the Internet in the home.
Resources
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: 10 Tough Questions Your Kids Will Ask – Are you ready?
On rare occasions a guest writer will come on to Examiner. Today Philip Lopez has asked to share his essay about parenting and those tough questions parents, at some time or another, have to answer.
If you’re a parent, you’ve undoubtedly discovered that raising children is the most difficult task you’ve ever undertaken. It’s your responsibility to shape their impressionable minds – whether or not they grow up to become productive members of society and successful individuals supposedly hinges on your every move. So go figure they ask the most difficult questions early in the parenting process, when they’re most curious and you’re most clueless. Below are a handful of those questions that make parents cringe.
1. How are babies made? Every parent has inevitably been asked this question in some variation. Most are left wondering how such a thought had entered their child’s mind, and who they should tongue-lash for putting it there. But now that it’s on the table, you have to explain it in terms that are least explicit. “The birds and the bees” talk has long been a go-to option, or you can come up with your own story. Or better yet, defer to your spouse.
2. Why do boys have [this] and girls have [that]? You get the idea. If they happen to ask this question along with question No. 1, they probably know more than they’re leading on. If they ask those questions when they’re 14-years-old, you’ve got bigger problems on your hands.
3. Where do people go when they die? If you’re a Christian, the answer seems simple enough: Heaven. But explaining what Heaven entails and what it takes to get there can take an eternity. Explaining any religion’s afterlife to a three, four or five-year-old is akin to describing quantum physics to a football player – it’s a lost cause. If you don’t happen to belief in an afterlife, well, your answer is easy.
4. Am I going to die someday?
This question is a bit underrated and often unexpected. Your child may or may not realize they are going to die when they pose question No. 3. If they do, break the news gently. Many kids have spent sleepless nights pondering their fate, and you know that when your kid is sleepless, you’re sleepless.
5. Why? “Why?” usually pertains to anything and everything, and the question is typically asked a bazillion times through ages three and four. The best part about parenting a young kid is they don’t realize that you’re pretty much clueless about everything, so almost any answer will suffice as long as you don’t warp their perception of reality.
Part 2 – next 5 questions —>>>>> Click here.
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: Sleepaway Camp – Homesickness and Your Kids
It is finally here - summer. Whether your kids are going to summer camp, visiting their grandparents or other family members or visiting friends for an extended time, be sure they are emotionally ready.
Parenting Expert and author, Dr. Michele Borba, has done the research on easing your child into their summer sleep away experience. Here are some research-based pointers to help your child–and you–have a fun time and great memories.
- Be sure your kid is ready. Is your child sleeping in her own bed through the night or is she climbing in with you at two o’clock in the morning? Does she have any problems separating from you when she goes to school, the baby-sitters, or day care? Does your child get along with this kid well enough to spend a whole night together? Does she feel comfortable with the child’s parents? If not, forget sending her away to that pricey two-week camp. Chances are she won’t make it through day one. Hint: A survey conducted by Sesame Street found that most parents say children are old enough to spend the night at around the age of seven. Do keep in mind that the age is not set in stone: it all depends on the child and you are the one who knows your child best.
- Do a practice. For a reluctant child, have the first sleepover be at your home. It sometimes helps if your child uses the same “security items” (for a real sleepover at your home first. Or try having your child spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa or a special cousin.
- Find a buddy. Any buddy!!! Research says kids always feel more secure away from home if they know at least one other child. It could be a child she knows from her hometown (and she doesn’t have to be best friends with the kid), or ask the camp counselor to give you an email address or phone number of a similar-aged child as yours. Maybe they can connect before you drop her off.
- Pack a few “security items.” A few packed items can make even the most anxious kid more comfortable. For instance: a flashlight if she fears the dark or staying in a strange house; a granola bar or sandwich (in case they “hate” the meal); a sleeping bag with a rubber sheet tucked inside might help a bed wetter feel more comfortable just in case he has an accident; their own pillow or blanket; even a cell phone for reassurance that she can call you anytime if really needed. Think of what might make your child feel safer. Better yet, have your child think up what he needs to feel more at home.
- Meet the counselors or parents. No matter how old your child is, do meet the camp counselors or parents face to face. You want to be sure they will be supervising the whole night, have your phone number handy, and clarify that if there are any problems you want to be called.
- Show off the activities. Other than finding one buddy to “hang with” the next thing researchers say what alleviates homesickness is involvement in an activity (tennis, crafts, kayaking, swimming, beading…anything). If you can get your child excited about one activity he will be more likely to feel a little more comfortable. And he’ll have something to look forward to doing.
- Have a positive send-off. Be cheerful and optimistic as you pack and get ready to go. Do wait until your child looks settled. Give her a big hug and kiss. Then leave. But researchers stress to curb homesickness: “Do not linger.”
- Breathe when the phone call comes. Homesickness is normal. It is far more prevalent with younger kids and those who have never been away from home. It is also common with college-aged kids. So don’t go thinking your child is not adjusted if you get that “MOMM!!! I hate it here!” call. Instead, listen. Just listen. Telling her to get over it, or it will get better, doesn’t seem to work (says the research again). Don’t promise you’ll call her 50 times a day either. Bad move again says researchers. You can tell her to call again tomorrow. Listen to the tone in her voice. Talk to the camp counselor (without her knowing). And then make your decision (can she wait it out – or it is better to pick her up) based on your child.
- Downplay failure. So what if your kid doesn’t make it all through the night? If you want this to work in the long run, emphasize the positive accomplishment. “You stayed there two hours past your bedtime. That was much longer than last time.” “It’s not a big deal. You’ll have lots of opportunities to spend the night at friends’ houses again.” There’s always next year!
This research is an example of the vast amount of parenting information Dr. Michele Borba has compiled in her Big Book of Parenting Solutions. If you don’t have a copy of it, be sure to pick one up or order one on Amazon today. It also makes the perfect baby shower gift, it is a library of everything you need to know about parenting and more!
Related articles:
Parenting 101: Inside The BBPS
One on One Interview with Michele Borba
The Social Scene with Michele Borba
Parenting Today’s Kids for Tomorrow Life
Watch video introduction to Michele Borba and get a sneak peek inside her biggest book to date!
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: Summer Activities Challenge 2010 – Education.com
Some parents fear that when summer arrives their child’s brain is going to turn to mush. All that pool water is making anything she happened to learn last year dissolve quicker than you think, but think again. You can still have a fun and exciting summer (including swimming) and keep your education flowing in.
Summer Activities Challenge, presented by Education.com, is an opportunity for families to have fun learning together while kids avoid the summer slide academically.
Here’s what’s new this year with Summer Activities Challenge:
- A super-cool grand prize! This year the winning family will win a Funjet Vacations family getaway to Cancun with all-inclusive accommodations at the RIU Cancun for four nights. In addition to the Grand Prize and the Weekly Prizes, 100 families who finish the Challenge will continue their summer fun with a set of Schylling Rocket Balloons
- A prize a week for 12 weeks! Each week during the challenge we’ll send a LEGO prize pack (worth at least $50) to a family that has completed at least one activity that week. Participants can win weekly prizes even if they never finish the Challenge.
- A shorter trip to the finish line! This year participants only need to complete 10 activities to be eligible for the Grand Prize and the Rocket Balloons (last year the bar was set at 20 activities).
- Even more activities to choose from. We now have thousands of activities on Education.com for participating families to choose from. The activities are sorted by grade level and academic subject. Each activity takes anywhere from ten minutes to several hours to complete and the activities typically require basic materials that families will either have on hand, or can easily and inexpensively acquire.
Education.com is one of the most comprehensive websites full of valuable resources and educational articles regarding your kids today.
Want a sneak peek at the thousands of activities your family can choose from? Click here.
Get moving, get motivated, get learning and most of all enjoy your family this summer!
Parents Universal Resource Experts – Sue Scheff: Eyeballing – A Dangerous Teen Drinking Game
Eyeballing. Yes, ‘vodka eyeballing‘ to be exact. Another dangerous game being played by teenagers. Some teens claim it gets them drunk faster. Doctors say, however, it’s not worth it. They said the alcohol has a corrosive effect and can lead to an eye condition called conjunctivitis, an irritation of the cornea, or worse.
There are two ways people can do it. The first is with a shot glass. However, because the name of the game is all about getting drunk quickly, some people just take a bottle of booze and pour it straight to the eye.
According to News4Jax, “It can lead to severe and ultimately permanent blindness,” said Dr. Amit Chokshi, a local ophthalmologist.
What can parents do? Talk to your teens. Education and communication is the key to prevention.
Related articles:
Trunking
Rainbow Game
SNAP Game
Dangerous Games – GASP
Parent’s – The Anti-Drug
Fishbowl Parties
