Monitoring Your Teen: Is it Invasion of Privacy?

When safety trumps privacy - is when invasion of privacy is thrown out the window.

As a parent keeping our children safe, especially our new young teen drivers is a priority. Many teens believe they are invincible and accidents only happen to other people.  Sort of like those other people are the only ones that get STD’s or have bad things happen.

Newsflash – bad things can happen to good people.

NBC’s Kevin Tibbles had an interesting segment today on TODAY about how parents are taking back technology, that their kids are so far advanced in, and using it to protect their teens and children.  The question is, how much parental monitoring is too much? (Watch segment on sidebar.)

The three resources of advanced technology that were discussed are as follows:

1. ZPass | Ridership Tracking:   For Student TrackingZPass was designed specifically for pupil transportation to monitor student ridership in a safe and non-intrusive way.  Knowing if and when a student got on or off the bus accounts for a significant portion of calls parents make to schools and is information that schools need to know.  ZPass provides accurate and immediate answers. Learn more at http://www.zonarsystems.com/products/zpass/
2. All Track USA: Receive notification via e-mail or text message when your child arrives at school, pulls into your driveway, goes over a pre-determined speed limit & more. And all speed alerts and Electric Fences changeable on-the-fly on the internet any time!! Learn more at http://www.alltrackusa.com/
3. My Mobil Watchdog: My Mobile Watchdog monitors your child’s cell phone use and instantly alerts you if he or she receives unapproved email, text messages or phone calls. Learn more at http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/

This is not an endorsement of these products, however an example of technology that is available to help protect and secure the safety of your teens.

The statistics are clear: Traffic crashes are the leading cause of death for teenagers who drive. Drivers who are 16 years old are more than 20 times likely to have an accident as are other drivers. And teenage drivers have the highest crash risk of any age group, and 16-year-olds are the worst.

As  a parent we have a right and a responsibility to take control of the safety of our teenage drivers, you could be saving a life.  If the teen wants to view it as an invasion of privacy, that is something we can live with.  Afterall, they are alive to view it at all.

With the increase of predators online, your child’s cell phone is another way these predators can invade their private lives.  Again, as a parent, we can and will do all we can to protect our children.  It is not about being nosy, it is about safety.  We live in a different world today.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

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Teenage Smoking: Can the quit?

Smoking cigarettes or smoking pot, which do you prefer your teenager puff? 

Many times you will have to hear the old saying, pick and choose your issues wisely.  In reality we don’t want our teens smoking at all, well hopefully parents feel that way. 

Both of these smoking habits can be addictive to your teen.  They believe they can’t live without, it calms them down, it makes them feel cool or whatever other reason they can give to condone it.  At the end of the day, smoking is not good for you and this has been proven over and over again.

Smoking pot is not legal, so skipping over that, let’s discuss smoking cigarettes.

Florida is proactive in helping people quit smoking. 

Each year, thousands of Floridians quit using tobacco. Many more try, but fail. The Florida Quitline was established to help those with a desire to free themselves from cigarettes, smokeless and all other forms of tobacco to successfully reach their goal, and offers all of its services free of charge in both English and Spanish. Here’s how it works:

1. With a single, toll-free call to 1-877-U-CAN-NOW, you can schedule an appointment with one of the Quitline’s trained counselors.

2. At an approximate time of your choosing, one of these skilled professionals will call you back to work with you one on one. Together, you’ll develop a plan to finally rid yourself of tobacco for good.

3. Our tobacco specialists will be there for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week to support you, offer tips and provide any information you may need.

If you’re ready to Be Free, call 1–877–U–CAN–NOW today and join other Floridians in living a happier, healthier life. If you know others who need help, click the link below to send them an email message encouraging them to call the Quitline today.

Pass it on to anyone you know that smokes, you never know when you will save a life.

Visit Florida Quitline for more information. 

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens.

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Troubled Teens: Parent Empowerment

Are you at your wits end?  Completely frustrated and stressed out over your child’s behavior?  Are you questioning where the child you raised with values went?  It is time to empower yourself with information that can help you take control again.

So many parents are desperate to find resolution and peace with their out of control teen.  They feel helpless, hopeless, scared, exhausted, and bewildered where this behavior came from.

Many teens are suffering with low self esteem, depression and other negative feelings that are making the act out in defiant ways.  For more information on Teen Depression, please visit www.suescheff.org.  It is important to try to resolve these feelings before they escalate to worse behavior, including substance abuse and addiction, sexual promiscuity, eating disorders, self injury, gang involvement, etc.

These teens are usually very intelligent and capable of getting Honor Roll grades, however are not working up to their potential and lack the motivation to succeed and do well.  This can stem from peer pressure combined with the teen’s feelings of low self worth.  It is one of the most common trends today – highly intelligent teens making bad choices.  Are you telling yourself; “This is not my child,” yet soon realize that it is and you must take control of an obvious out of control situation.

As a parent that has experienced and survived a troubled teen - I am introducing “Parent Empowerment” to help you take control of your family again.  My goal is that you will learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge.

Do you think you are alone?  I can assure you, that there are many parents that are in your same situation – and feeling the same frustrations.

Let’s look at things we have tried – and I am confident many of you will see the familiarity with these consequences:

• Remove privileges or place restrictions on cell phones, televisions, computers, going out on weekends, friends, phone time at home, etc.  In today’s society, although these should be privileges, most are considered normal necessities of a teen’s life.  This can be related to entitlement issues. Click Here Many instances even if you have removed the privileges, the child knows he/she will eventually get them back, and find other means to communicate with their teen world.
• Change schools – How many times have we believed if we change the school the problems will go away?  Maybe in some cases, however these issues will follow your child into the next school environment.  The problems may be masked in the beginning, but in most cases, the trouble will soon arise again.  Changing schools, although may temporarily resolve some problems; it is rarely the answer when teens are emotionally struggling.
• Have your child go live with a relative out of state? Wow, this is very common, but the other similarity is that in many situations it is a short term resolution before the family is calling and saying they can’t do it any longer – you need to find another alternative for the teen.  This can be traumatic and stressful for both families involved and cause friction that could result in more negative feelings.
• How many families have actually moved? Believe or not, parents have looked for job transfers or other avenues to try to remove their teen from the environment they are currently in.  So many of us believe it is the friends, which it could be, however as parents we need to also take accountability – this is not saying we are to blame, but we need to understand that our children are usually not the “angels” we believe they are.  Sure they are athletic, played varsity sports (football, track, golf, swim team, dance etc.), musically gifted, or other special talents as well as were in all advanced placement classes – but reality is, if you are reading this, this has changed.
• Seeking a therapist will help.  Yes in some cases it will.  And of course, we should all try this avenue first.  Unfortunately more times than not, the teens are already a master manipulator and can breeze through these sessions convincing the therapist the parents are the problem.  I know many of you have probably already experienced this.  The other concern with therapy is that in many situations the one hour once or twice a week can barely scratch the surface of what a family with a troubled teen may require.
• Was your child arrested? If your child has committed a crime, chances are they will be arrested.  If your child has become belligerent in the home and you fear for your safety or the safety of your family, again chances are they will be arrested.  In some cases with first time offenders the charges could be dropped.  However if this becoming a chronic problem, you seriously should consider outside help.  When a teen is arrested and placed in a juvenile detention center, even for one night, they are exposed to a different element that could either scare him/her or harden them.  Teens can learn bad habits in these centers, or potentially worse, make friends with teens that have far worse problems than yours.
• Scared Straight Programs or Boot Camps - Are they effective? Many parents will seek a local weekend Scared Straight Program or Boot Camp.  In some cases, it may have a positive effect on your teen – a wake up call so to speak; however in other cases it may worsen your problem.  Depending on your child and the problems you are dealing with or how long they have been going on, may help you to determine if these types of programs would be beneficial or detrimental to them.  Some teens will leave a Boot Camp or weekend Scared Straight program with more anger and resentment than when they entered it.  The resentment is usually directed at the person that placed them there – not at the program.  This can open doors to more destructive behavior.  Personally, I am not in favor of Boot Camps or Scared Straight Weekend programs.  A visit to a jail with a police officer, giving the teen the awareness of what could happen to them, may be a better way to help the teen to understand consequences of the current behavior.

These above efforts are avenues parents could try before considering any type of boarding school program.  I believe exhausting all your local resources should be the first path.  Making a decision to place a child outside of the home is a major decision and one that is not to be taken lightly.  It is important you educate yourself – empower yourself with information to help you make the best decision for your child. Click here for a list of questions to ask schools and programs in order to determine if they are a fit for your teen. Helpful Hints when searching for schools and programs.

An educated parent is an empowered parent.  Parent Empowerment!  Take control of your family life again.

Source: www.helpyourteens.com

Have you talked to your daughter’s about PBB’s?

PBB’s?  Periods, bra’s and boys!

Being a parent sometimes has it moments that you are out of your comfort zone.  Every parent, well, almost every parent, dreads the birds and the bees discussion, however today more than ever, the talk has to start earlier.

With today’s ever expanding Internet as well as more and more valuable information that is available to parents, there are also some excellent books to help your tween take that leap into teen-hood a bit more smoothly.

One book that was recently released has received a tremendous amount of praise.  The Pink Locker Society, although using fictional characters, could very well be your own daughter.  This is a book that you and your daughter, as well as her friends could start a great conversation about and maybe even start your own book club.

The introduction to this fabulous book can be found on the web.  Visit The Pink Locker Society website and get a sneak peek of the characters and even read the first chapter!

Some of the most popular questions girls have are asked and answers are questions about getting their periods, boy crushes, and breast issues. As a parent, may have talked to their tweens about these sensitive subjects, however having a group of peer to talk to can really help understand they are not alone.  Let’s face it, this is a trying time for them and being able to see others (their peers) are struggling too helps them see their questions are not stupid.

Recently a student at Crookshank Elementary School, Liza, commented that she would love to meet the girls she read about (knowing they are fictional), and one of them does remind her of herself.  She didn’t want to tell us which one.  Liza also said that she has shared this book with some of her friends, and they all really enjoyed it.  It is an easy read, and a quick read.  Caitlin says, “Like my mom would say, it is a page turner.”

Order today and get in the know about periods, bra’s and boys!

Teen Porn: Where Are Your Teens Are Surfing Online?

During National Cyber Security Awareness Month there are many topics to be discussed, and one of the most fast-paced issue is porn and how it lands on your teens screens.

In the past, pornography was mainly limited to artwork, magazines and the red-light districts. With the Internet and cable television, however, pornography has now made its way into our family rooms, home offices, teens cell phones and kids’ bedrooms. It is easily – and often inadvertently — accessible by children and teenagers, and parents must work even harder to prevent their children from becoming addicted to it.

Experts at the Jacob Wetterling Foundation developed the following tips to help parents prevent their children from becoming addicted to pornography:

• Place home computers in a central area of the house, not a child’s bedroom or secluded area. Make surfing the Internet a family experience.
• Talk with your children about what they can and cannot do online, while trying to understand their needs, interests and curiosity.
• Know your child’s password and screen names; they may have more than one.
• Set reasonable time limits on computer use, and ensure that your children adhere to the limitations.
• You should also realize that children may be accessing the Internet from outside the home, such as friend’s homes, work, libraries and school.
• Be open with your children and encourage them to come to you if they encounter a problem online.
• Explore filtering and blocking software, which is used to sort information on the Internet and classify it according to content. A major drawback is that some filtering may block innocent sites, while many “negative” sites still get past the filters. Though these programs can be great assets, parents still need to maintain open communication with their children to inform and protect them.

The best cure for addiction is prevention. Many parents may suspect their children of being sexually addicted, but may not be sure of the warning signs. Victor Cline, Ph.D., an expert on pornography and its effects, encourages parents to be on the lookout for the following symptoms of sexual addiction:

• A pattern of out-of-control sexual behavior
• Experiencing severe consequences due to sexual behavior, and an inability to stop despite these adverse consequences
• Persistent pursuit of self-destructive behavior
• Ongoing desire or effort to limit sexual behavior
• Sexual obsession and fantasy as a primary coping strategy
• Regularly increasing the amount of sexual experience because the current level of activity is no longer satisfying
• Severe mood changes related to sexual activity
• Inordinate amounts of time spent obtaining sex, being sexual and/or recovering from sexual experiences
• Neglect of important social, occupational or recreational activities because of sexual behavior

Being an educated parent will help you have safer teens both online and off.

Learn more about protecting your children from online porn, click here.

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