Are you at your Wit’s End with your teenager?

Are you at your wit’s end with your teen?  School is back in session and your teen is either not attending classes or decided he doesn’t need school anymore – let’s just get a GED.  Seriously – that is the way some  teens are thinking now.

Generations prior, GED’s were frowned upon, and usually meant you had a child that was a juvenile delinquent.

Today we have many resources for parents to get their teens back on a positive road, but it takes time, determination and research to find that right program.

They will come under many names such as, Wilderness Programs, Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, Behavior Modification, Emotional Growth, etc…..  It is important to realize what you are looking at and what you need for your individual teen.

In my prior Blog posts below, I have given you many tips – here are some more:

• Boot Camps – In my opinion, stay clear of anything punitive.  This is not beneficial to building your child back up to making better choices.  In many cases the teens come out with more anger and resentment than they went in with.   Look for programs with positive stimulation and enrichment programs.
• Are you dialing toll free numbers that go to marketing arms? Stay clear.  These are people that are more in tune with programs rather than your teen’s emotional needs.  They are paid commission by selling a certain group of programs.  You need to be sure you are speaking with a program directly – the owner is the best one, since that person will be responsible for your child’s success – and their reputation is vest on it.
• Are you on the East Coast and they are telling you that Utah or the West Coast is your only answer?  Not true, there are many good programs are the East Coast.  Of course choosing your program isn’t solely based on geographic, however it does make it easier to visit your child – and let your teen know you are involved.  Especially for working parents – traveling to the West Coast from the East is at least a full days trip on both ends – leaving a limited time to visit your child.

More to come…. Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

Teen Help Programs for Troubled Teens: Parents Hit Internet Confusion

You have resolved yourself to the fact that you can no longer control your teen’s behavior as they are spiraling out-of-control.  Where did that cute little child go?

Actually, they are still there, but deeply buried under the layers of peer pressure, society, technology, divorces, and life in general.  Life is not perfect, however with teens (although they believe they are nearly adults) they are not mature enough to understand that divorce isn’t their fault, a parent losing a job isn’t their fault, a death is not their fault, being bullied isn’t their fault – and before you know it, they have baggage that would outweigh even adults.

Now you get online – where can I find help!  I am at my wit’s end!!!!

You start to see all these websites, clearing houses, marketing arms, toll free numbers etc… Then just when you think you found a program that can help, you find some very harsh website of disgruntled parents and other kids that attended that program.

Don’t panic. Look at the sources -is it a reliable source?  Is it a legal case?  Or simply people that have too much time on their hands, have a vengeance after a school  or program and can’t move on with life.  Unless you see some legal cases to substantiate these claims – chances are very good that their sole motive is to prevent others from getting help and slam programs.

It is a fact – just about every school or program in our country (and probably others) have the “good, bad and ugly” about them. You are not in business for years and won’t have clients that are not happy with your services.  This is why it is so critical parents do their research.

As a victim of this myself, I have won two jury trials – I have proved that my issues as being a disgruntled parent were justified in a court of law -and that these malicious websites are nothing but a way to deter parents from believing my story or getting my help.  I always tell parents, I am either famous or infamous – depending on the website you find – but in  reality – I have taken it to the justice system and proved that I was being stalked, harassed and worse because the program my daughter was abused at simply wants me gone.

Want to know more – visit www.helpyourteens.com and read Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out of Control Teen.

Parenting Teens: Community Education – Circle of RESPECT

What is Circle of Respect?

To promote RESPECT as a way to manage conflict and prevent criminal behavior.

Let’s face it, many of today’s teens and kids lack the respect that generations prior had for authority and even their parents.  Teens and children are controlling  the home, driving parents crazy and simply don’t honor their elders as they should.

So what does Circle of Respect do?

The Circle of Respect is the National Crime Prevention Council’s (NCPC) latest and most comprehensive campaign to protect youth from bullying and cyberbullying. Launching in October, the campaign seeks to change the commonly held belief that bullying is a rite of passage, and teaches instead that such behavior is unacceptable through a positive, pro-social message that encourages respect and consideration for others. To succeed in its mission, the Circle of Respect will feature an education campaign, outreach materials including publications and public service advertising, and partnership efforts to reach a national audience.

One of the strong components of Circle of Respect is educating parents and schools about bullying and cyberbullying.  This is a growing concern and deadly issue that needs to be addressed by the entire country.  Florida, however, has landed on many national headlines with the near death of Michael Brewer and Josie Lou Ratley as well as the special needs 13 year-old girl that was taunted on her school bus – with condoms!

Did you know 160,000 kids miss school every day out of fear of being bullied? The recent cases of young people who have tragically ended their lives because they were so badly bullied are a painful example that there is a serious problem in America today. There is no better time than the present to start changing these statistics…and we can do so through education!

Do you want to become more active in The Circle of Respect?  Here are some other ways you can do so:

• Circle of Respect Book Club: Take part in the online Book Club to generate a guided national discussion about this issue. The Book Club will feature one book each month on the Circle of Respect’s website by a noted author in the field of bullying and cyberbullying. Each author will also lead an in-depth discussion via a downloadable podcast.
• Sign up for Email Alerts: Sign up for email alertsto get updates on the campaign, find out how you can be involved, get sneak previews of what’s happening next, and even enter contests.
• Make Your Pledge: What actions will you pledge to take in order to spread awareness and widen the Circle of Respect? Let us know.
• View Pledges: Sign up for your own free account on The Circle of Respect to see what others are doing to help.
• Take Awareness Video Viral:NCPC and Saatchi & Saatchi unveiled an animated short starring everyone’s favorite crime dog,McGruff®,  to teach a whole new generation of children how to “Take A Bite Out of Crime.” View and share the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bizeJYJJVdU
• Simply spread the word:It’s as easy as it sounds. Share the campaign online via your social networks and also talk openly with your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and/or peers.
• Join us on Facebook:Become a fan today and share your ideas and stories with the community.

For more information, visit: www.circleofrespect.org

Watch the video.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer families.

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Intervention with Troubled Teens: Wilderness Programs, Boot Camps or Residential Therapy – Find the ‘right’ help!

You have a teen that is driving you crazy. You have a teen that is experimenting, if not using drugs on a regular basis.  You have teen that has changed peer groups – and not for the better.  You have a teen that has disengaged from the family. You have a teen that is defiant, belligerent and can become violent. You have a teen that doesn’t appreciate all they have and all you have sacrificed for them?  You are at your wit’s end!

Is it time to have an intervention?  What is best to insure that your teen gets back on a positive road to have that bright future you always wanted for them?

Let’s review some choices to get help:

Wilderness Therapeutic Programs: Short term program, short term results, usually zero academics, extremely expensive and as many teens state they have great experiences, it is usually never enough to make lasting positive changes.

• The concept: Remove the kids from their comforts of home.  Get them to reflect on themselves from within.
• Thought:  Wouldn’t it be wise to find one program that offers a well-rounded program including removing them from their comforts of home, offering them an education as well as encouraging them through enrichment programs?

Boot Camps:  Thankfully many have been closed in the state of Florida.  This in and of itself speaks volumes.  As parents see it as a way to punish their kids for their negative behavior, using punitive and primitive measures may cause more anger and resentment toward the person that placed them there.

• The concept: Teach your child a lesson, and hope they learn to appreciate and respect you.
• Thought: Again, finding a sound program that offers positive enrichment, academics as well as trained staff to help determine where the negative behavior is stemming from.

Jail: Is this ever a good option?  Not really, and although juvenile records are sealed, according to law enforcement, what happens when your teen applies for a job in their 20′s and that record, although it doesn’t state the charges, but is pinged by your teen being finger printed?  Did you consider the friends your teen will make in jail?

• The Concept: Show your teen the consequences of breaking the law.  Hopefully scaring them straight so they turn around their behavior.
• Thought: Get your teen the right help that instills positive reinforcement, continuing education and work on family conflict with an outside counselor.

Residential Therapy: Finally, a way to address negative behavior in a positive direction. Our teens need consistency in treatment.  Starting and finishing with the same therapist, structure and program that builds your teen back up to making the better choices.  Some parents are being convinced that using a short term program such as Wilderness Programs will prepare them for a residential program, however if you find the right program from the start, it serves the same purpose as a Wilderness Program (of course saving about $10K-20K at the same time).  Choosing a residential therapy program does remove your child from their comforts of their home.  It also gives them an opportunity to reflect and get back to basics.

• Concept: It took longer than 6-8 weeks to get to the place your teen is at, it will take at least 6-9 months to get your child back.
• Thought: Take your time and find the best program for you and your family both emotionally and financially.  Consider that short term programs are like band-aids – they do peel off fairly quickly.

With Lindsay Lohan at 24 years old going to jail, it will serve to sober her up, however the rehab is what will help her to remain sober. Sadly, this may all be a moot point since at 24 years old, she is considered an adult and can just go through the motions – after all, she is court appointed.

Don’t wait for your teen to be over 18, get them help while you still have the ability and control.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information and assistance.

Order www.witsendbook.com today! It is a priceless guide for parents considering residential therapy.

Parent Help: Power of Parents – It’s Your Influence

Yes, parents still do have an influence on their teens.

The day has arrived when many are getting ready to bring in the new year and have plans to do it in their own way.  Many include alcohol a way to celebrate, and as although underage drinking is illegal, it is a fact many teens will be drinking.

As a parent, what can you do?  Communication is always key, reminding them of the dangers of drinking and driving and the fact that buzzed driving is drunk driving.  Parents may want to be in denial that their teen would consume alcohol or other substances that impair them, but remember, never say never.  Always be proactive, never stop talking about it.

According to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) someone is killed in a drunk driving crash every 50 minutes; someone is injured almost every minute.  Join them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

FACT: Drivers 15 to 20 years old have nearly 20-percent more fatal car crashes than any other age group.

Remind your teens:

• “No drinking alcohol.”
• “Buckle up.”
• “Slow down and respect the speed limit.”
• “No phone calls or text messaging.”
• “Here’s how to recognize danger on the road…”

Communication can never stop, even when your teen is tired of hearing of it, never stop.  Unfortunately it only takes one tragic accident to wake-up a teenager to realize that drunk driving or buzzed driving can kill and all the lives will be changed forever.

Watch the video.

Happy 2011, end 2010 on a safe and healthy note!

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