Archive for February, 2011
Troubled Teens: Parent Help in Finding Resources
Parents of at-risk teens have many common thoughts, here are some of them:
My daughter is so smart, she is highly intelligent.
My son is extremely handsome, very athletic and always had lots of friends.
My daughter is beautiful, was the captain of her cheerleading team etc….
My son has an IQ of 170, yet is failing.
My daughter wants to drop out of high school.
My son wants to get his GED and is not attending school.
My daughter made the varsity team and yet dropped out.
My son was swim captain and now was asked to leave the team. (He was caught with pot, but said it was his friends.
My daughter smokes pot, but it is only recreational.
My son likes to drink beer, but it isn’t all the time.
Helpyourteens.com
Excuses for parents:
It is the friends he/she is hanging with.
The teacher doesn’t like my son/daughter.
The school has zero tolerance.
His father isn’t around enough.
The coach expects too much.
If it wasn’t for this one neighbor, we wouldn’t have these issues.
Okay, these lists could go on for a long time but at the end of the day, week, month, year – it is YOUR son/daughter making the choice to hang with a certain friend, be a part of an undesirable peer group, and smoke that joint with a swig of alcohol!
Parents that continue to live in this ship of denial will end up with many regrets.
Parent that believe that sending their teen to a residential therapy program for help is a sign of their (the parent’s) failure, are very much mistaken.
Parents that hope and pray things will change – we only wish them the best, in some (very rare) situations, it will get better.
Parents that believe changing schools will make a difference, think twice.
Parents that literally move and believe things will change with a fresh start, think again.
Like adults that attempt to run from their problems, your teens are no different. If they are struggling now, chances are very good they will be struggling shortly after the change again.
You are not a failure, this is not your fault – and it is time to stop the blaming and start the healing. After exhausting all your local resources – it may be time to find outside help, and that can mean residential.
True, you don’t want to put your teen in a program that houses hard-core teens, but it is also true you need to find a program that has strong emotional growth (clinical), fully accredited academically (don’t miss out on an education), as well as the critical component of enrichment programs. You need to find the passion in your teen to help stimulate them to a positive direction in life.
Learn more by visiting www.helpyourteens.com.
Residential Treatment Centers (RTC), Therapeutic Boarding Schools (TBS), Emotional Growth Programs, Wilderness Programs, State Funded Programs, Programs for Low-Income, Boot Camps, Scared Straight Programs, Tough Love, Summer Camps, Short Term Programs, Traditional Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Reform Schools, JAIL.
Teen Jobs: After School Jobs May Cause More Harm Than Good – Find the Balance
Find the balance that works for your teen.
A new study published in the journal Child Development examined the impact of getting a job among middle class teens in 10th and 11th grades. Researchers found that working more than 20 hours a week was associated with a decline in school engagement. Millions of teens juggle work and school, and many describe the stress it can cause them.
Casey P. an 11th grader of Nease High School in Ponte Vedra Beach said that she finds it very difficult to balance her school work as well as her community service hours and a weekend job at a local store. “I know that colleges look for a variety of extra-curricular on the applications. That is why I continue with community service hours and working. I definitely need the extra money and feel productive at my job, but there is a part of me that wishes I didn’t have to work as much.”
Educators call it the fatigue factor.
“It’s a fatigue factor. The student ends up being too sleepy or too tired the next day. They’ll fall asleep in class or just simply not pay attention,” says Joe Phillips, a high school principal according to a Connect with Kids report. (Watch the video on the sidebar.)
As the report continues, researchers found teens working for more than 20 hours a week showed increases in behavior problems, including using drugs or alcohol. Dr. Richard Winer, a psychiatrist, says that some kids end up experimenting in ways that their income earned is not going toward beneficial outcomes.
Experts say parents need to keep a close eye on where the money is going, and how the job is affecting your children.
On the flip side there are teens like Ryan, a senior at St. Augustine High School, that feels that finding the right balance has helped him complete all he needed to get into the college of his first choice and also have the benefits of extra income from a local restaurant he works at.
As summer is approaching, many teens will be looking for a job. This is not the same as during the school year when the pressure of studies is on them. Having a job is about teaching our teens responsibility and accountability early – since their future will highly depend on it.
Be an educated parent, you will have successful teens!
Is Your Teen At-Risk Online? Clues to Be Aware Of
Do you knowwho your teen is chatting with virtually?
Fact: Teens spend more time than ever before – online.
Fact: More teens know a lot more about technology than most adults.
Fact: Most teens know more about the Internet than their parents.
Are these facts in your home? It is reality that technology is growing at the speed of lightening. Before you can buy a new computer or cell phone, a new, upgraded and improved one is created. How many of you are waiting for April for the new iPad?
What are signs that your teen or child might be at risk online?
Your child spends large amounts of time on-line, especially at night.
Most children that fall victim to computer-sex offenders spend large amounts of time on-line, particularly in chat rooms. They may go on-line after dinner and on the weekends. They may be latchkey kids whose parents have told them to stay at home after school. They go on-line to chat with friends, make new friends, pass time, and sometimes look for sexually explicit information. While much of the knowledge and experience gained may be valuable, parents should consider monitoring the amount of time spent on-line.
Children on-line are at the greatest risk during the evening hours. While offenders are on-line around the clock, most work during the day and spend their evenings on-line trying to locate and lure children or seeking pornography.
You find pornography on your child’s computer.
Pornography is often used in the sexual victimization of children. Sex offenders often supply their potential victims with pornography as a means of opening sexual discussions and for seduction. Child pornography may be used to show the child victim that sex between children and adults is “normal.” Parents should be conscious of the fact that a child may hide the pornographic files on diskettes from them. This may be especially true if the computer is used by other family members.
Your child receives phone calls from men you don’t know or is making calls, sometimes long distance, to numbers you don’t recognize.
While talking to a child victim on-line is a thrill for a computer-sex offender, it can be very cumbersome. Most want to talk to the children on the telephone. They often engage in “phone sex” with the children and often seek to set up an actual meeting for real sex.
While a child may be hesitant to give out his/her home phone number, the computer-sex offenders will give out theirs. With Caller ID, they can readily find out the child’s phone number. Some computer-sex offenders have even obtained toll-free 800 numbers, so that their potential victims can call them without their parents finding out. Others will tell the child to call collect. Both of these methods result in the computer-sex offender being able to find out the child’s phone number.
Your child receives mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don’t know.
As part of the seduction process, it is common for offenders to send letters, photographs, and all manner of gifts to their potential victims. Computer-sex offenders have even sent plane tickets in order for the child to travel across the country to meet them.
Your child turns the computer monitor off or quickly changes the screen on the monitor when you come into the room.
A child looking at pornographic images or having sexually explicit conversations does not want you to see it on the screen.
Your child becomes withdrawn from the family.
Computer-sex offenders will work very hard at driving a wedge between a child and their family or at exploiting their relationship. They will accentuate any minor problems at home that the child might have. Children may also become withdrawn after sexual victimization.
Your child is using an on-line account belonging to someone else.
Even if you don’t subscribe to an on-line service or Internet service, your child may meet an offender while on-line at a friend’s house or the library. Most computers come preloaded with on-line and/or Internet software. Computer-sex offenders will sometimes provide potential victims with a computer account for communications with them.
Source: FBI Parent Guide to Internet Safety
Internet Predators do not discriminate, any child or teen is at risk if not properly taught about how to stay safe in cyberspace.
In Broward County, Mother’s Against Predators (MAP) was formed to help educate and inform parents, teachers and the community about the warning signs of predators as well as tech tips we all can use.
Teen Transportation, Teen Escorts, Transporting Teens: Getting Your At-Risk Teen SAFELY to a Teen Help School
Lorraine Colpitts, Owner of Safe and Sound Transportation
If you have never had to deal with a teenager that has been out-of-control or extremely defiant, using drugs, hanging with the wrong peer group or making extremely bad choices, you may never hear of teen transportation or also known as teen escorts.
For the many families that have employed the services of a teen transportation company, one name always is clear – Safe and Sound Youth Transportation.
When a parent comes to the conclusion they need to get their teen outside help of a residential therapy school or program, many will contact the owner of Safe and Sound Youth Transportation, Lorraine Colpitts. What you will find is a caring, nurturing, well-educated and professional in her field on the other end of the phone.
Just recently a Broward County family used the services of Safe and Sound Youth Transportation and as difficult as it was, it was a decision they made in the best interest of their daughter. As their daughter was smoking pot, frequently not coming home and simply defied her parent’s, Carol and Mark (names are changed for confidentiality) knew they had to do something.
After contacting Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, and determining what the best program would be for their 16 year-old daughter, their next call was to Lorraine at Safe and Sound Youth Transportation.
Carol said: “This was literally the hardest decision my husband and I have ever had to make. Our fears were eased after talking to Lorraine. The level of professionalism with genuine care put me at ease.”
Mark added: “I never thought this would ever happen to our family, especially my angel [referring to his daughter], but she was running her life into a dark hole and we didn’t see any other way out. After trying therapy at home, it just wasn’t working. I am not thrilled it came to this, but knowing there are experts out there to guide us, really helped us to make this decision.“
Lorraine Colpitts said she speaks with parents on a daily basis and assures them they are not alone. She give them support both emotionally as well as getting them to the next step of healing for the family.
If you are a family that is struggling with an at-risk teen, know there is help out there. Realize there may be many teen escorts, however using one that is licensed and insured to transport teens is critical. You don’t want just anyone transporting your teen, be sure they use ethical methods, and understand that your child’s safety is priority.
Mission statement from Safe and Sound Youth Transportation:
To ensure the Safe and Reliable Intervention/Transport of your teen from your home or your child’s current placement to your chosen destination in the most professional, yet nurturing and efficient manner possible.
We go the extra miles….
We take having the responsibility of your child very seriously and will see them all the way through this part of their journey. We are committed to you and your family, and will always treat them with the utmost dignity and respect, kindness and compassion.
For more information call Lorraine at 1-866-990-1900 or visit www.safeandsoundtransportation.com.
Order today!
Lorraine Colpitts also contributed to Health Communications parenting book, Wit’s End, Advice and Resources for Saving your Out-of-Control Teen by Sue Scheff.
