Archive for June, 2011
Teen Drinking: A Serious Concern for Parents
Summer is here!
This time of year often comes with an increase in free time and a decrease in adult supervision.
As your child becomes more and more curious about alcohol, he or she may turn to you for answers and advice. Use this opportunity to start an open, honest conversation about drinking. Since some questions can be difficult to answer, it’s important to be prepared.
Q) I got invited to a party, can I go?
- A) Ask your child if an adult will be present at the party, or if he or she thinks children will be drinking. Remind your child that even just being at a party where underage people are drinking can get them in trouble. Use this time to establish or reinforce your rules about alcohol, and what behavior you expect.
Q) Why do you drink?
- A) Explain to your child your reasons for drinking – whether it’s to enhance a meal, share good times with friends, or celebrate a special occasion. Point out that if you choose to drink, it’s always in moderation. Tell your child that some people shouldn’t drink at all, including children who are underage.
Q) Did you drink when you were a child?
- A) If you drank as a teenager, experts recommend that you give an honest answer.1 Explain why you were tempted to try alcohol and why underage drinking is dangerous. You could even give your child an example of an embarrassing or painful moment that occurred because of your drinking.
It is important that parents initiate these conversations as often as possible. You may believe your child is not listening, however eventually you will realize – they are.
Drinking and driving kills. Drinking and driving can also result in life changing ways. As pictured above, Jacqui Saburio was changed forever by a drunk driver.
Jacqui had planned to help her father run his air conditioning factory in Caracas, Venezuela after she finished her industrial engineering studies at the university there. But first she wanted to learn to speak to English. She enrolled in a private language school in Austin, Texas. She had been in the United States for less than a month when her new friends coaxed her into going to a birthday party with them one Saturday night. Read her full story here.
According to the 2010 Florida Youth Substance Abuse Survey, 50.3% of middle and high school students have not used alcohol in their lifetime, 75.5% have not smoked cigarettes and 74.8% have not used marijuana. Click here for more information.
Facebook Monitoring and Teens: Tips for Parents for Online Safety and Social Networking
Summer is here. Years ago it would mean more time playing outside with your friends – today it can mean more time surfing – online that is.
More children and teens than ever have engaged in social networking and although MySpace has faded, Facebook is booming and won’t be going away anytime soon – if at all.
As a parent, you have to take steps to insure your child’s safety online.
The more you know, the safer they will be.
Facebook is the hub of social activity for many teenagers.Unfortunately, just like any teen ‘hangout’ it can be a source of danger and negative influence, if not monitored. Kids want their privacy and don’t always tell their parents when they experience negative things online.
Cyberbullying through facebook has become an ongoing problem with teens. Your teen could be on the receiving or giving end of this issue without you being aware. Inappropriate content sharing, viruses and sexual predators are other issues parents need to watch for on their kid’s facebook pages. So how can you monitor what is happening on their pages without standing over their shoulder when they are online or on their cell?
Five tips every parent should consider:
- Befriend their friends – This is not very subtle and may not even work, but give it a try. Send friend requests to their closest friends. If you’re friends with their friends on facebook, you’ll see the conversations they have with each other.
- Grandma – If their grandmothers are on facebook, have them send friend requests to their grandchildren. Kids easily say no to their parents, but grandparents generally are not seen as the enemy that parents are. If Grandma cares as much about your kids as you do, she’ll keep an eye out for suspicious behavior for you.
- Youth Pastor – Youth pastors love to use facebook to keep in contact with the kids in their group. Make sure your kids are facebook friends with their youth pastor or youth leaders. If you have any special concerns, share them with the youth pastor so that he can keep his eyes peeled for you.
- Be facebook friends – Why shouldn’t you be facebook friends with your kids? Some parents have simply made this a requirement in order for their kids to create a page in the first place. Of course, facebook friends still only see what is posted on the wall and not the private messaging that goes on. Kids know this and will use the private messaging to avoid public exposure.
- Password Holding – This may not seem very ‘clever’ but it certainly is a wise solution for parents. Simply require that you know the passwords used for their social networking accounts so that you can log into them at any time and then do so at least once a week. While you are logged onto their page, be sure and check their ‘archived messages’. They may not even realize that this option is there. You will be able to read any conversations they have had with their friends, even if they were done through the instant messaging feature.
The teenage years are critical and difficult times. In spite of their protests to the contrary, your kids still need your protection and your direction.
To ignore their Facebook activity is to ignore your responsibility as a parent.
Source: Internet Service Guy
Facebook and Your Kids: Age verses Maturity
Facebook has taken a stand on this question since their inception by setting a minimum age limit for its users at 13 years of age. But just because Facebook says 13 year olds may use their social media service doesn’t mean that parents need to allow their kids to become users, does it?
Here are some thoughts on the subject.
Any age: There are some parents who don’t see a need for setting a minimum age limit for Facebook users. Some of these parents simply aren’t concerned with their child’s interaction on the web, any more than they are concerned with any other aspects of their child’s life. Other parents who aren’t concerned about a minimum age have a very different reason. Their reasoning is based on their involvement with their kid’s activities online. They do not allow their kids full and uncensored access to the internet in any form. They have parental controls in place and seldom allow their young children on the internet without their presence there beside them. They may see Facebook as a connecting place with family.
Thirteen: Since Facebook has set this as the minimum age to join their network, many people have accepted this as being the appropriate age. Peer pressure enters into this big time. Facebook has said ‘it’s ok’ and ‘all my friends’ are using Facebook, so why shouldn’t I? There are a lot of fun games and learning opportunities on Facebook for kids this age, but there are dangers as well. Teens this age can be very vulnerable to adults and other teens who might use Facebook to gain a connection with them. Young teens can easily feel flattered by attention from others and innocently assume that people are who and what they represent themselves to be. This puts them at risk for predators of many different kinds. Kids this age often have very volatile emotions as well. This means that everything becomes magnified in their minds. Hurts wound deeper and friendships are taken very seriously. Thirteen may be old enough to use Facebook, but for most kids thirteen to fifteen, their use of this and other social media should be closely monitored and guarded with strict rules of behavior.
Sixteen: Some parents have held the line and refused to allow their kids to engage in social media activities until they are sixteen and in high school. Since, at this age, they are old enough to gain a drivers license, it is assumed that they should also be responsible enough to handle social media activities. Other parents have encouraged their kids to avoid the social media craze simply because it can be a distraction and a time waster, and they want their kids to remain focused on more important aspects of their life than socializing.
Conclusions: In reality, there is no magic age that fits every situation or every child. Since Facebook has set a minimum age of thirteen, it is wise of parents to support this age limit by not allowing their younger children to circumvent the rules by posting a false birthdate. Each child has a different level of maturity. It is the maturity level and sense of responsibility of your child that should be considered when making this decision, not just their age. Regardless of the age, teens should be taught how to use social media safely and responsibly. When rules are not followed, the privilege should be removed.
Source: Internet Service Providers
Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens both online and off.
Continue reading on Examiner.com Facebook and kids: What age and why should they join – Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/facebooks-and-kids-what-age-and-why-should-they-join#ixzz1OyhJZmrO
Politics and Parenting: Mommy Cliques
The ground is rumbling as we get ready for a 2012 election year however there are another type of politics that rumbles and tumbles every year. Have you ever found yourself in the middle of politics by simply being a parent? If you are dealing with a parent that wants their teen to be popular and before we know it, cliques are formed. From cliques, the politicking begins! Talking Teenage, an educational website founded by Dr. Barbara Greenberg and Jennifer Powell-Lunder recently posted an article to help you, not only understand today’s teens – but help to you speak their language when speaking with them – hopefully to get them to understand.
Mommy Politics
Courtesy of Talking Teenage
Visting Talking Teenage today!
We are painfully aware of the problems associated with teen cliques. We are less likely to talk about the tough topic of popular moms and mommy cliques. We think that it’s time. We have been gathering information from mothers and teens and would like to share some of the comments that we’ve heard.
1. A mom tells her daughter that the other kids would like her more if she drinks “just a little.” This 16 year old had decided that she doesn’t want to drink alcohol. The mother refers to her own group of popular mothers/friends who all drink.
2. A mother tells the other mothers that her daughter must select her friends carefully. She appears to support the idea that if her daughter befriends the “wrong” girls then her acceptance by a popular group will be less likely.
3. The mother in a family that has recently moved to a new city attempts to befriend the mothers of the “exclusive” girls so that her own daughter is more likely to be accepted into their daughters’ clique.
4. A group of mothers take photos of their girls going to the prom and exclude some girls from being in the pictures. The moms stick together and apparently don’t want their daughters’ photos “ruined.”
5. We call ourselves the “fancy five” a mother says of her group of friends. Is it any surprise then when her own daughter tells another girl to leave the lunch table and sit elsewhere?
6. A group of mothers form a small crowd to watch a softball game. A woman goes over to them in what appears to be an attempt to join them. She smiles and says hello. They avoid eye contact with her and continue speaking. Oh dear!
In many instances mothers encourage their teenage girls to be inclusive, kind, and accepting of others. There is, however, a subgroup of mothers who both model and encourage exclusivity and cliquey-behavior.
How is a sensitive and empathic mother to handle this? We offer some suggestions.
1. When encountering these groups model politeness and graciousness in spite of their behavior. There is a reason that road is called the “high road.”
2. If your daughter points out mothers “behaving cliquey” then both acknowledge and validate her. There is no need, though, to call your daughter’s attention to this behavior. You don’t want to inadvertently insult one of her friend’s mothers. Teens not only dislike when you criticize their friends but they also dislike when you criticize their friends’ parents.
3. Try NOT to get involved in the politics of mommy cliques. Your teens will appreciate this. Do your own thing and you will stay out of trouble!
4. Take a look at yourself. Are you part of a clique? Do you give your teen the message that popularity is the be all and end all?
5. Remember that people often do things in groups that they wouldn’t do if they were alone. Does your own behavior change for the worse when you are in a group? Think about it. Friends should bring out the best in you!
Visit www.TalkingTeenager.com for more fantastic articles!
Jennifer and Barbara: Helping parent’s with today’s teenagers
Dr. Barbara Greenberg and Jennifer Powell-Lunder, authors of Teenage as a Second Language: A Parent’s Guide to Becoming Bilingual, are dedicated to helping parents with today’s teens. Do you want to learn your teen’s language today – you will be amazed at how much your relationships can improve. Order today!
