Archive for July, 2011
Youth Substance Abuse: Number 1 Health Problem in America
It's just pot anymore.
Nine out of 10 Americans who meet the medical criteria for addiction¹ started smoking, drinking, or using other drugs before age 18, according to a national study released today by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University.
- 75 percent (10 million) of all high school students have used addictive substances including tobacco, alcohol, marijuana or cocaine; 1 in 5 of them meets the medical criteria for addiction.
- 46 percent (6.1 million) of all high school students currently use addictive substances; 1 in 3 of them meets the medical criteria for addiction.
The CASA report noted that alcohol is the preferred addictive substance among high school students:
- 72.5 percent have drunk alcohol;
- 46.3 percent have smoked cigarettes;
- 36.8 percent have used marijuana;
- 14.8 percent have misused controlled prescription drugs; and
- 65.1 percent have used more than one substance.
Teen Eating Disorders: Know the Warning Signs
Body image and teens. Learn more.
Initiating a conversation about someone else is a neutral, non-threatening way to broach the topic. If you hear that someone in your child’s school has an eating disorder, that is an appropriate time to bring it up. Your child already knows or will hear rumors soon, and may have questions that you can answer. If you don’t have any examples closer to home, there are frequently stories of celebrities in and out of treatment.
One that your child may already know is Demi Lovato, a teen actress and singer who has been in numerous Disney movies and TV shows. She entered a residential treatment center last fall, and in April 2011 she gave a few interviews where she discussed some pretty heavy topics.
She discussed being bullied as a child, and her subsequent depression, eating disorder, and self-mutilation, as well as her recent diagnosis with bipolar disorder, her recovery, and helping other girls in her new role with Seventeen Magazine. Here are a few sources for you that condense her story: an article that summarizes Demi’s disorders and treatment or this video where Demi discusses being bullied, her eating disorder, cutting, and her treatment.
Chances are, your children already know her story, and have heard about people at school doing things like skipping meals, purging, or cutting. Demi’s life may not have been that of a typical child, but we can use her story to check in and connect with our children.
Why should I be concerned if my kid is on a diet? I’m on a diet too.
You as an adult are more likely to have your diet in the proper perspective. Kids and teens, especially perfectionist, driven, rule-bound ones, can take things too far until it is a compulsion they cannot control. In her interview, Demi said that by fifteen years old, she was skipping most meals, and when she failed to lose weight, started throwing up. Take stock of your own eating habits – ditch the rules about food, weighing portions, or calorie counting, and instead focus on eating mostly nutritious food, only when you are hungry. Also, never cut yourself down for your weight or what you eat, or be critical about others’ weight or appearance. Before you say it, think how it would sound coming out of a child’s mouth.
My son has been losing weight, but it’s for sports, so that doesn’t count, right?
It’s true that girls and women are more likely to develop eating disorders, but out of eleven million suffering from ED today, one million of those are male. Check over the list of symptoms below, and pay attention to your instinct as a parent. If anything about the way your son is losing weight concerns you, talk to him and talk to a professional. Better safe than sorry!
What’s the difference between an eating disorder and a diet? Or, what are the symptoms of an eating disorder?
It’s possible to diet without developing an eating disorder, but most medical professionals agree that children should not be on any diets.
Where the two differ, however, is the ability or inability to think logically and rationally. So when a normal dieter looks in the mirror and sees progress, anorexics have a distorted view and cannot see themselves as anything but fat. Their irrational compulsion justifies extreme measures, like purging, skipping entire meals, and laxatives. A medical professional or therapist can help with an accurate assessment and diagnosis, but let your instinct as a parent serve as an early warning system. You are often the first to know when something is up with your child, even if you aren’t sure what it is.
Be watchful for these symptoms:
- Different eating habits, diet plans, skipping meals, snacks, meat, or desserts, avoiding eating with others
- Distorted, negative self-image
- Eating alone, in secret, or at night
- Avoiding social situations that involve food
- Change in moods including depression, anxiety, withdrawal, irritability, obsessive behavior in other activities
- Preoccupation with dieting, calories, food, cooking, diet books, what others are eating
- Visiting websites that promote unhealthy weight loss
- Any weight loss, weight gain, or failure to make expected gain in height
- Compulsive exercising
- Taking laxatives, diet pills, or steroids
- Making excuses to get out of eating
- Going to the bathroom right after meals, running water to hide vomiting sounds
- Wearing loose clothing to hide weight loss or body shape
- Hoarding high-calorie food, or evidence of binge eating (food wrappers, quantities of food disappearing)
If I suspect they are hiding something, should I snoop in their things?
If you are truly concerned for their safety, you are justified in violating their privacy. This is a last resort, however, and there are ways to avoid it unnecessarily. Are you sure you can’t draw it out in a conversation? If you are just curious, or feeling out of touch, you should instead be working on building your relationship. If you are paying for your son or daughter’s cell phone, internet service, and car payments, you can establish upfront rules about their use that don’t leave them feeling violated.
Be judicious with what you find. If it’s serious, such as laxatives, weapons, drugs, evidence that they are being bullied or stalked by a predator, act on it immediately. They will of course be furious and hurt, but the danger to them is substantial. If you find something upsetting but not dangerous, such as communication complaining about you, first take a deep breath, try to remember what it was like to be a teenager, and let go of your anger. Then work on strengthening your connection.
I’ve seen signs, and now I’m worried. How do I ask my son or daughter if they have an eating disorder?
If you have reason to believe there is a problem, tell them you are concerned without using guilt or blame. Begin by saying, “We have noticed this. Let’s talk.” Skip the lecture, ask open questions, and do more listening than talking. Show compassion and patience. Don’t accuse, shame, or demand anything (except, of course, a visit to a doctor).
Find a therapist that has experience and training in eating disorders. Educate yourself with the resources available from reputable sources such as the National Institute of Mental Health site, the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Parent Toolkit, or call the NEDA Helpline at 800-931-2237. HelpGuide.org also has a good basic guide for family and friends.
Why is our son or daughter doing this? Is it my fault?
Finding who to blame should not be your first action. However, the question may nag you whether you as a parent have contributed to your child’s condition. Parents do not cause eating disorders. Studies have found that someone can inherit a predisposition, but there are many other factors involved. Like in Demi’s case, where she suffered from depression first, and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, ED is often combined with other mental conditions such as depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, or anxiety. Personality traits like perfectionism, eagerness to please, and being highly driven seem to correlate. ED patients come from every sort of family, every ethnicity, cultural background, and economic status. Parents can, however, be instrumental to recovery.
Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens.
Teen Secrets Parents Should Know
Do you know where your teen goes - virtually?
Kids and especially teens are notorious for keeping secrets from their parents, and in today’s world of technology they have a whole new world of ways to keep secrets.
Since kids are also incredibly adept at learning and using modern technology and the following list may help you keep better track of what your child may be hiding.
- Surfing the Internet: Today, kids have almost unlimited access to computers, and now computers are small enough to carry, enabling access to the internet literally anywhere. This gives kids easy access to sites parents may disapprove of, not to mention “adult only” sites that only ask the user to click a link stating they are over 18 years of age. That’s an easy button to click if you want to keep secrets from parents. Close monitoring of your child’s computer history, password protection and parental blocks can keep your child away from inappropriate sites.
- Downloads: Kids love to download- anything they can: pictures, jokes, videos, etc. These downloads may be putting your computer at risk for viruses that could cause permanent damage. Parents need to know the source of any download and that it is safe, as well as keeping up-to-date antivirus protection on all computers.
- Music Downloads: What kind of music are your kids downloading and listening to? Even if the site is safe, the music might not be. Listen to the music downloads. If you are not able to understand the lyrics of the songs, you may want to check them out. You can find an internet music site that has song lyrics available to read. Be careful, though, if you do not allow your child to download certain titles, he/she will probably change the file name of the prohibited song to something allowable.
- Uploads: Kids are not very discerning when it comes to what others should or should not know about themselves, and their families. Find out what sorts of pictures, text and other files your child might be sharing on social networking sites or shared folders.
- Games: What games are your kids playing? Playstation, X-box, computer games, both individual and interactive-online are filled with violence and “adult” themes. Monitor the games your child buys or rents; most are labeled with age guidelines and parental notices. Also, monitor your child’s history with online games. Install a computer block that allows access to only approved sites.
- Friends: Kids have many friends. Some of them, they don’t even know. Facebook and other online social networking sites make it easy for children to fall prey to predatory abusers disguised as “friends.” If your child has a Facebook or other social networking accounts, make sure that you know their username and password, and check in on their activity once in awhile.
- Cell phone use: How much time your kids spend on the phone, when they are calling and who they are calling are important to know. Read the itemized portion of your bill each month to double check, and if there is a number you don’t recognize or don’t want your child accessing, have it blocked through your service carrier.
- Texting: With unlimited texting capabilities on cell phone plans, your kids can text anyone at any time, day or night. Parents need to know who they are texting and the language they are both reading and using while they are texting.
- Abbreviations: LOL, and CUL maybe be familiar “social” abbreviations, and ROLOFLMHO may be used by your kids without any qualms, but ROLOFLMAO might be offensive to some parents. Do you know the difference? Also, new abbreviations are added to the lexicon of technical communication on a daily basis. As a parent you need to be familiar with abbreviations so as to know what your kids are saying. You can check the internet for sites that list abbreviations and meanings.
- Plagiarism and cheating: That kids are able to access information which expedites learning in ways never before thought of, is a wonderful outcome of technology today. That kids can also use this information to cheat in ways never before thought of, isn’t.
Kids will be kids, and they will try to “get away” with anything they can; this will never change. But the world of technology changes every day, and if parents remain technologically savvy, kids will have to work very hard to continue keeping those secrets.
Source: Internet Providers
Teen Help is a Call Away
Call today for a free consultation.
It’s summer and for parents of teenagers it can be a time of consideration.
What will your teen be doing this summer? Have you arranged for a summer camps? Community service hours? Volunteering? Or simply hanging out?
Parenting today’s teenagers is a challenge. Whether it is keeping up with technology or worrying about substance abuse, being a parent today is not an easy job.
If you suspect your teen is using drugs, drinking or engaging in any negative behavior, don’t be a parent in denial. Get the help they may need. It could be as you need a adolescent therapist or you may need to take the next step of residential therapy. Either way, you need to be proactive.
Parents’ Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.) has over a decade of assisting families with troubled teens, and continues to expand. Join us on Facebook today.
Teens that are struggling with today’s peer pressure, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and simply good kids starting to make bad choices. P.U.R.E. many very satisfied families that have used their services. Please take a moment to read some of the testimonials.
Teens, Parents and Computers: 10 Concerns About Computers in Kids Rooms
Where is your teen's computer?
Many kids have their own cell phones and televisions. As computers have come down in price, parents can often afford to provide kids with their own computer as well. However, parents should give some thought to where their kid’s computers should be located. Your kid’s bedroom may not be the best choice.
- Skype – Most computers today come with webcams, and Skype can be downloaded free. With this combination, your child can video chat for free with friends, relatives and, uh, strangers. The video communication is two-way. That means, whoever is on the other end will be peering directly into your home, more specifically into your child’s bedroom.
- Chatrooms – Chatrooms have always been a bit unsafe for children to visit on the internet. It is easy for adults to disguise themselves as kids or for predators to present themselves as harmless and friendly. These situations can be more difficult to monitor when the computer is located in your child’s bedroom.
- Screen time – Easy access can mean too much access. Between school and home, video games, TV, movies and surfing the net, kids spend way too much time in front of screens these days. Keeping it out of the bedroom can help cut down on the screen time.
- Sharing – If your kids hangout in their room with friends, their friends will inevitably end up using the computer there. It can be difficult enough to monitor your own child’s computer activity, you don’t want to take responsibility for other people’s children too.
- Youtube – Creating videos and posting them to Youtube or facebook to share with their friends has become a very common source of entertainment for kids. It has also gotten kids in serious trouble in some circumstances. This is less likely to happen if the computer is in public family space.
- Environment – Computers all have fans to keep them cool. These fans can also attract dust to the computer and hinder its performance. Unless your child actually keeps their room clean and tidy, the physical environment may not be the best for a computer.
- Surfing – Unless you are comfortable with your child wandering alone in any and all neighborhoods of a large city, you shouldn’t be comfortable allowing them to roam freely around the internet by themselves. There are plenty of dangers there of various types.
- Maintenance – Although most kids know more than their parents about computers, they still don’t always take care of things the way they should, even it only means clicking a mouse. They may delay critical updates and warnings that are needed to keep their computer functioning properly. You are less likely to realize this until it is too late, if the computer resides in their bedroom.
- Printing – If they use their computer for doing homework, then they will likely need to print material as well. That means either putting a printer in their room, going through the hassle of transferring files from one computer to another to print or creating the ability to do that over your home network.
- Video Chat – Even if your child doesn’t turn on their webcam, they may access sites where others are using theirs, such as chat roulette sites. On these sites, you never know what or who is going to appear on your screen next. X rated scenes are not uncommon. Just another reason to keep the computer where it is easy for you to monitor the screen.
Kids are kids. They need their parents to take on the responsibility of watching out for them and not allowing too much freedom. They’ll have time enough for internet ‘privacy’, once they’re out on their own.
Source: PhoneTVInternet.com
