Parents’ Universal Resource Experts

By Connect with Kids 

“There was nothing I could do about it and … as a result, when you feel that left out, you find comfort in other things. And I think one of the things I found comfort in is food.”

– Sarah, 14

Are girls bullied because they are overweight, or do they gain weight because they are bullied? The findings of a Harvard study may surprise you.

In the 4th grade, Sarah was bullied by several of her classmates.

“They just figured, ‘we’ll be cool,’ whatever cool is, and cool was not talking to me,” says Sarah, 14.

She felt hopeless and alone.

“There was nothing I could do about it and … as a result, when you feel that left out, you find comfort in other things. And I think one of the things I found comfort in is food,” says Sarah.

Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health followed more than 4,000 girls for two years. They found that girls who ranked themselves at the bottom of the social ladder were 69 percent more likely to gain weight than girls who were perceived to have a higher social standing.

“That kind of chronic experience increases the risk of all kinds of unhealthy ways of coping with the negative experience,” says Dr. Randall Flanery, Ph.D., child clinical psychologist.

Unhealthy coping includes overeating.

“Pushing that emotion down with food … pushing that away from having to deal with it … and the comfort, the one thing that is a nice warm hug, is that food which calms them down and makes them feel like, ‘Okay, I’m alright,’” says Marilyn Tanner, pediatric dietician.
 
Sarah eventually did make friends at her school. What is her advice today for other kids?

“You have to tell someone because even if they don’t do anything about it, even if the situation isn’t helped, talking about it does wonders,” says Sarah.

Tips for Parents

• Many people who use food as a way of dealing with emotions suffer from “binge-eating disorder.” Binge-eating disorder is characterized by recurrent overeating or binge-eating episodes during which a person feels a loss of control over his or her eating. (National Institute of Mental Health, NIMH)
• Unlike bulimia, binge-eating episodes are not followed by purging, excessive exercise or fasting. As a result, people with binge-eating disorder often are overweight or obese. They also experience guilt, shame and/or distress about the binge-eating, which can lead to more binge-eating. (NIMH)
• Obese people with binge-eating disorder often have coexisting psychological illnesses including anxiety, depression and personality disorders. In addition, links between obesity and cardiovascular disease and hypertension are well documented. (NIMH)
• If you are overeating often, there are some things that might help you avoid doing so. For example, instead of eating when you’re not hungry, find other ways to keep yourself busy, such as taking a walk or talking on the phone. Try not to snack while doing something else, such as watching TV or doing homework — that’s a set-up for overeating! (Nemours Foundation)
• Know yourself and your reputation. Get in touch with your values, interests and beliefs. If you are encountering cliques and/or exclusion at school, it’s a good opportunity to ask yourself what you and your true friends give each other. Do you want to be part of a group because you need to feel accepted or because you actually share their values? (Nemours Foundation)
• Stay involved in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Keep your social circles open and diverse.
• Speak out. If you feel your group of friends is turning into a clique, take a stand for your beliefs. Be prepared that the clique might go on without you (remember many girls feel threatened by someone else’s strength). Have a mind of your own.
• Be sensitive to others and don’t go along with what you don’t believe is right — even if others are doing it. You are the only one responsible for your behavior. True friends will respect your mind, your rights and your independent choices. (Nemours Foundation)

References

• National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
• Nemours Foundation

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet? Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life. If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

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“As long as we concentrate on exercise, eating right, cutting out the sugar, I think we’ll be okay.”

– Tina Scott-Morgan, mother

For kids and adults, losing weight seems like an endless and insurmountable task: flavorless diet foods, gym memberships, hours of sweating and pain. But a new pediatric study reports that it really doesn’t have to be that hard.

To improve her daughter’s health and weight, Tina stopped buying carbonated drinks.

“We don’t drink sodas in this house,” says Tina Scott-Morgan, mother.

“They have too much sugar in them,” says her daughter, Marissa, 9.

Too much sugar and empty calories. According to a study in the journal, Pediatrics, children who walked an extra mile a day and cut out 100 calories daily showed a significant drop in their BMI (Body Mass Index) – an indicator used to determine healthy weight. One hundred calories equals one can of soda.

“When we cut that out and replaced it with water and milk, I could tell that there’s a significant difference in Marissa’s weight,” says Morgan.

“The fact is that you’re adding extra calories into your system that your body technically doesn’t need,” says Beth Passehl, Fit Kids coordinator, Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.

Experts say it’s all about small changes.

“Cut back gradually, cut back by 10 percent each day, cut back by one serving a day, and you may find that starts to make a difference. It’s small gradual steps that lead to life-long habits,” says Passehl.

Step-by-step, Marissa is working her way to a healthier life.

“As long as we concentrate on exercise, eating right, cutting out the sugar, I think we’ll be okay,” says her mom.

Tips for Parents

• Eating breakfast is important for weight management. Research shows most people who have lost more than 60 pounds and kept it off for six years do eat breakfast. (Dr. Luke Beno, pediatrician)
• Make a rule that no one in the family can eat while watching television. It’s hard for kids to realize how much they are eating when they’re absorbed in a television program. (Dr. Luke Beno, pediatrician)
• Find ways to get the entire family more active. Have everyone in the family wear a pedometer, and compete to see who can take the most steps during the day. If the child wins, reward him/her with a fun activity. If the child loses, assign him/her an active chore. (Dr. Luke Beno, pediatrician)
• Do not make your family give up foods they love. Instead, find healthier ways to prepare these foods. For example, frozen French fries can be baked instead of fried. Cheesecake or macaroni and cheese can be made with a low-fat cheese. Take a cooking class to get your family excited about healthy recipes. (Dr. Luke Beno, pediatrician)
• Teach kids to use portion control when eating out. Since most portions at restaurants are double what they should be, encourage kids to take half home, or to share with another person. (Dr. Lonny Horowitz, bariatric specialist)
• Calories are calories. It doesn’t matter where they come from. Keep portion size in mind, regardless of whether you’re eating a salad or junk food. (Dr. Lonny Horowitz, bariatric specialist)
• According to The American Heart Association (AHA), healthy physical activity is defined as regular participation in activities that increase your heart rate above its resting level. However, physical activity doesn’t have to be strenuous to be beneficial. An active child plays sports, participates in PE class, does household chores, spends time outdoors and regularly travels by foot or bicycle. The AHA offers the following guidelines:
  • Encourage your kids to regularly walk, bike, play outside and interact with other children.
  • Allow no more than two hours per day for sedentary activities – TV, computers, video games.
  • Promote weekly participation in age-appropriate sports or sandlot games.
  • Ensure your child participates in a daily school PE class that includes at least 20 minutes of coordinated large-muscle exercise.
  • Make sure your child has access to school/community facilities that enable safe participation in physical activities.
  • Provide opportunities for physical activities that are fun, increase confidence and involve friends.
  • Organize regular family outings that involve walking, cycling, swimming or other recreational activities.
  • Be a positive role model for a physically active lifestyle.

References

• Dr. Lonny Horowitz, bariatric specialist
• The American Heart Association (AHA)

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.